The End.

I did it! I finally found my way to those two little words and I'm feeling equal parts ecstatic and terrified!

The process of allowing this story to unfold onto the pages of this book was more emotional and enlightening than I could have ever imagined. I knew my story from beginning to end, front to back, and side to side before I ever wrote one word. What I didn't know was how deeply I would be affected once my characters began coming to life on the pages and how protective I would feel for them and their jouneys.

Something you should know about me is that I have never been a person with many secrets. I don't like secrets. They take up too much space in my brain and make me feel anxious and distressed. This is not to say that I can't keep a secret for a friend-I can... I just don't like it.

I don't like secrets. They take up too much space in my brain and they make me feel anxious and distressed.

In every other endeavor of my life, my friends, family, social media crew, and anyone else who seemed even slightly interested has known what I'm thinking, planning, and working toward as well as my next three steps and how it all is making me feel. This information has come to them in painful detail, often without any solicitation for that information. I told everone everything! I don't know if I did that because it held me accountable or if I was looking for affirmation, but I've always put it all out there.

This was different.

Other than a few people from my immediate family, I have kept this book and this writing journey to myself. Maybe I was afraid it wouldn't happen, or perhaps I didn't want everyone else's input clouding my focus, but the experience of doing this for me and me alone was exhilarating!

I love my story. I love my characters. I love everything about this finished piece, and that's where the ecstatic feeling comes in. The process was exhausting and I questioned myself and my abilities so many times... and then I shut that shit down and kept writing. Not because someone else told me to, but because I owed it to my story to see it to the end.

The process was exhausting and I questioned myself and my abilities so many times... and then I shut that shit down and kept writing.

Enter terror.

Right now, my little novel is safe and protected under my care, but soon, it will be out there in the path of danger where it may not be understood, appreciated, enjoyed, or even noticed. Some people may not like it, and I'm ok with that, but I fear that I'll forget the feeling I felt when I wrote "The End," Will the opinions of others ring louder than the pride I felt writing those six letters?

I sure hope not, but here's the thing... The goal has already been achieved. I wanted to tell this story and I did that! How sad would it be to keep these characters that I have come to love locked inside the boundaries of their cover because someone may not love them as I do? It's time for them to shine!

What I have learned about myself at this point in my writing journey is that I love to write. I've always enjoyed reading books and writing in my journals, but this experience has sparked something in me and I think I want to feed that fire. I have a ton to learn, but that's ok. This is only the beginning.